I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.

“I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.” 

― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

We got tickets to go to the Jazz game and when you are 7th row then you go. We loved going. We just love being with another so that's a bonus. I wore my sporty outfit. It was so comfy. The Jazz lost, oh well, Pre Season. As we were walking out I told Chris I forgot to get my Jazz sweatshirt, bummer. There will be a next time. 

My favorite half time. These drummers were great!

I LOVED this. The bear got signs out, cheer if your are over 5 feet tall, under 5 feet tall. Boy, girl then they got out the big guns with the BYU fans and the U fans. HA- Utah is so funny. It was a U night for sure. Then the Jazz fans all yelled. I love the Jazz Bear. 

I didn't get the picture but the bear climbed up here! WITH SIGNS> INSANE. 

I am eating 8 grams or less of sugar besides fruit and this is my favorite granola. 

It has been a great Fall season, I ate outside, SO yum. 

Training for work. We are switching to Entrata for our system. Wish us luck. 

I went to the best show with Laurie at Gardner Village. 

WITCHAPALOOZA DINNER THEATER 

It was beyond fun. I met at Lauries house and then she drove us over to Gardner village. My lovely co workers gave me their witch stuff and I wore a hat and cape. It was awesome. So we walked in and had salad ready to eat, yummy rolls and cran apple drink. We were at a table of 10. The 3 to my left have been the past 3 years and were dressed up in these witch dresses. So fun. The ladies to Laurie's right were in their 40's and it was their first time, they sang along and were fun to sit by because they were expressive and animated. We seriously laughed for days, IT WAS A BLAST!

The story line was really fun too. These are the actors their were 5 of them and so fun.

One song they did was, I need a hero and this guy wore a loin cloth fur skirt, SO FUN and he for sure worked out. He was 40's too and a high-school theater teacher. He was my favorite. He was just so fun and real. At one point he lost script and was laughing which made it all the better. 

This guy killed me. SO FUNNY.  He went around and asked people pick up lines. He asked me and he was telling us he is supposed to compliment a woman and he said, I like your top I bet I would like your bottom too. hahahaha he was goofy and fun. 

After their introductions and few songs they has us eat and it was fun to meet them all. 

I want to go again. 

Training again for me on Thursday. 

On our drive Amy and I saw all these para sailors, however you spell that.... It was cool with the flag and mountain. I don't know if I will ever do it but it looks awesome!

HAPPY 2 months baby! We went to the pumpkin patch. So fun. 

S loved going. We pet everything and she had hay EVERYWHERE. So fun to be a step mom and be with this little chickadee. Chris is just so flexible and a great dad. 

Happy 2 months to this awesome man. Thanks for making my little girl dreams come true. Which was not easy. He and I were meant to me. 

A few years ago Andrew and I went to dinner and a movie. IT WAS SO SCARY! I had to look it up but this was the movie. I don't do scary movies, at all.

Instead of watching that and having Chris terrify us we went to Pan. It was really good. I now want to be Tiger Lilly for Halloween. :)

Sarah joined us to the movie, it was good to see her. I hadn't see her for years.

I can't remember the other guy who came with us but he was so nice and Navajo. So cool.

We have been working on projects around our house. 

Mom, will you make this for me?? Please. 

Aren't these SO pretty. I want to do this. Maybe after we get sealed I will do it for Chris as a gift. 

This was so good. I love P. Monson. 

I loved this. So funny. As I am trying to loose .7 pounds a week and just maintain. 

Aren't these fun. S loves crafts and so do I. 

I want that BOO. I could make that, after I do my pinterest party. BLAH

I joined this pinterest party and I am doing my own little thing but I hope it turns out. I think it will. 

SO I will show you how they turn out. I bought 10 of these pumpkins and they are going to be for hanging. On one side I am doing happy Fall like below and the other side something Halloween. We will see. So you bring 10 items you made and trade with the other party members. I am pretty excited. Laurie did the cutest banner and Jenn is doing some fun Laundry Sign. Exciting!

Chris built a desk! He is so handy and a for sure mans man.  From boards to a desk. More to come. 

 

We need to paint this wall and get white blinds. These brown are killer. Someday. 

So life is good. 

Fall is so pretty

We have been having a great month. Life is pretty great being married. Everyone always asks me. I of course love being married. I think Chris is a better husband then I am a wife but I am working on it. He is SO loving. 

Him being married before sometimes I think, goodness how did they ever not get along? He is a pretty amazing man. I do think this, if I would have married some of my ex boyfriends they wouldn't think that I would be a great wife. Sometimes it isn't really meant to be. I wish Chris' ex wife the best. I read this really good letter a few months ago that was so good. 

It was this letter. Sometimes I just pretend that it was written to me. It makes it easier. I pasted it below. so read it if you would like. 

To My Daughter’s Stepmom,

I never wanted you here. You simply were never part of the plan. Growing up and dreaming of my family I never included you. I didn’t want help from another woman to raise my child. The plan was for my family to include me, daddy and our children, not you. I doubt you ever wanted me in your life. I doubt you planned to mother a child that you didn’t give birth to. I can bet that your plan for your family included you, daddy and your children together, not me or my daughter. I can almost bet that when you dreamed of becoming a mother it would be the day you gave birth and not the day you married your husband. I’m pretty sure you never planned on me being here.

But God has plans that far exceed our own and when my little family dissolved to form two families I knew you would be coming.

In my mind you would be a terrible beast and my daughter would not want you to mother her at all, ever! I was hoping that you would be semi unattractive and prayed my daughter wouldn’t look up to you. Her daddy would know that he was settling for second best. Evil swirled in me because I never wanted to face the fact that another woman would mother my child in my absence.

Then you arrived.

When I first met you I’ll admit you weren’t what I had in mind and a twinge of jealousy shot through my body. You were supposed to be hideous, remember? But you weren’t, you were stunningly beautiful. You were supposed to be a mean old hag, remember? But you weren’t, you were a young, sweet woman.

My plans were foiled.

I realized by the look on your face that meeting me was just as hard as it was for me to meet you. My heart immediately softened. Dang your kind smile! I was planing on really hating you. Why are your ruining my plan?!

I wanted to resent you but you made it impossible and I quickly grew thankful for you.

You’ve accepted our daughter from the very start and have unconditionally loved both her and her daddy, that’s a true gift to all of us. You’ve included our daughter in everything you do and make her feel loved and accepted. You put her relationship with her daddy above yours and only a brave and courageous woman knows how to do that with such grace.

I knew when her daddy and I decided to divorce and live in separate homes there would be times when she would need me, her mommy, and I wouldn’t be there. I’m so thankful that you are there in my absence. I’m grateful that you have mercy on her teen years and never reject her. She needs a mommy at your house and you’ve done an amazing job being that for her.

You’ve respected my position as mom from the very start. I appreciate that you always check with me when you question if you are making the right decision with her. I know our situation is rare. It’s not often that a mom and stepmom text each other to remind each other that they love and respect each other. You are a gift.

Because of you and your courage to mother our daughter the way that you do, she will be a better woman. She will grow up with more love than I could have ever imagined. It wasn’t her choice to have divorced parents and even though I wouldn’t wish that on any child I am so thankful that she now has 4 parents who love and respect her and each other. She’s compassionate because of it and understands that a failure in one area can turn into a blessing in another.

I don’t see you as a fill in for when I’m not there. You are her mother when she’s with you and when she’s with me. She’s excited to call you and tell you her stories when she’s at my house and that makes my heart want to jump from my chest with joy. I fill with pride when you wrap your arms around me and squeeze for a genuine and loving hug each time we see each other.

I am extremely aware of what it looks like when a mother cannot emotionally accept her childs stepmother in their life. Gratefulness pours heavily from me that we are able to rise above anything like that and do what is truly right for our daughter. Thank you for being mature enough and respectful enough to co-parent with me.

I promise to always respect your input for our daughter. I promise to never lessen the position you hold in her life or make you feel like you are not her mother. I promise to raise her to be grateful to have two strong and brave women in her life that have the courage to mother her together. Even though our situation is peaceful I pray that she is never in it, but if she ever finds herself here I promise to set an example for her of what co-parenting should look like.

Precious woman, you are a rare and beautiful gem.

God bless you and I love you.

Millions of people read the letter, and then the stepmom replied:

“Candice, I don’t know what to say. I am not good with words like you are and the way you express yourself. All I can say is I am crying like at the end of The Notebook … you make me feel so special … Thank you for this letter. It made my day and I will keep it close to my heart always. Love you.”

My affirmation weekend

I got back from my honeymoon and didn't miss a beat. Andrew picked us up from the airport so he had slept over in our extra room. We love having guests and then we were off to the Affirmation conference the next day. I didn't really know what to expect but the schedule he sent me was REALLY good. 

I started by going to my ally meeting. It was VERY tear jerking. I had many tears roll down my cheeks as I heard each couple go around and share their story. It really made me so sad to hear these challenges.

Then we had a snack.

Then we had another 2 classes that had a theme. 

this class was really good. 2 BYU students taught it. They were both darling. One guy, gay and hasn't really told anyone and the girl who calls herself queer. Very interesting. They had us all see how privileged we are with questions. Then we went through being Christlike. It was really good. 

Are We Not All Beggars?

This goes through my head all the time now- I loved the girl and boy BYU student class. 

This class was really good. This lady helped her husband write the song from the children's song book. She wrote Nephi's courage. So that was cool. She is the best discussion leader I have ever met. She made everyone feel so validated, heard and it was quite beautiful. She is a therapist I think. She was AMAZING. The class was REALLY good. Most people that commented were LGBT and their story with the church and what a blessing it is. Comments and questions about what to do and how to be a member with being LGBT. Some Ally's came to this too and I love the love that was felt. It was a very spiritual lesson.

I kept thinking of my mom and how there was a girl who use to come to church dressed in sleeveless and short skirts and my mom would say, I am just glad she is here. 

My other friend use to say the best smell at church on Sunday is cigarette smoke, the smell of repentant heart. Cause we are all there for the same thing. 

Most people have been welcomed open arms but I think there is still some bishop roulet. Meaning depending on the bishop it will mean if you will be welcomed or not. 

I thought for anyone this was AMAZING!

She kept saying this is a gift. It isn't going away after you do dot dot dot. You know. I don't have many lesbian friends but all my gay friends, they are gifts. They care. They are warm. They are inclusive. I have never thought of this as a gift before.

I also don't think God created anyone like this. I think this is just how the intelligence came. So first their were intelligence and then God created spirits then we came to earth. I just think that we became who we were in the pre eath life but I don't know if sexual orientation was even a thought there. Lots of thoughts and that is all that is, thoughts.

 At lunch I got to see my good friend from home. Nobody knows about her and I am not one to out so lips are sealed. It was so fun to chat. This is a valiant woman who almost committed suicide because of all the hardship of her gift. I just always loved this soul and it broke my heart hearing that. She said she just told her extended family and they didn't even respond to her email. OKAY! Wow, I would be ticked if I was her but she is just her peppy self. I also knew about her before because sometimes you know the right people to ask about your friends. I must say, I love that she still loves God. 

That was a common theme. People being mad at God. I related. I have been un rightfully mad at God before. Now I see where I wronged in ever thinking that because I really like where my life turned out. It was meant to be.

We met the president and he asked me what I was doing here, I told him and then asked him what he was doing here. He responded, I am the president. HAHA I didn't notice his name tag. He was so nice and sweet. 

http://affirmation.org/

We love the temple!

We saw some fun drag show at the Provo park. There was a support fair. I am so bad at remembering it all.

We saw a friend from college who is Gay and he isn't out but it was so good to see him. He was like, in case you didn't know, I am gay. Did you think anyone else was Gay in college. haha so that was a fun chat but i try not to out anyone. Ever. I wouldn't want anyone saying anything about me so keep it zipped. 

Provo pride

Andrew bought me a yummmmmmy lemon aide. SO good. 

We sat with two new friends. One of them is going to be writing for LDS.org about his story. Which is good. He is a great guy!

Drew and I. 

We met Erik who lives in Chicago. He had the best comments, laugh and fun. He was the best. I miss him already and hopes he moves to Utah.

met this gem, Carson has a great story. Read his blog! and here is another of his blogs. 

We went to a sex one too. I loved the meeting. The teacher talked about what is attraction and what draws us and how most gays have the most sex next to married couples and last is lesbians. Interesting and maybe not true. HA- USE PROTECTION! He also wanted that in everyone's heads. SO DO I! 

Then we went to a big conference. 

I thought i got a picture of Sarah Jade. I found her here. Another here. 

Sam spoke about being a lawyer. Poor guy was sweating up a storm. I felt for him. He was a good speaker. Quick and to the point. 

Kate is also a lawyer. Her mom was the sweetest lady. She lives in SLC and football is her religion. She has much support with her sister and her husband who is a bishop for a singles ward.

They went to her daughters wedding a the court house the day after it became legal.

I liked this.

Laura was very deep and from the heart. She is married to a man but she liked her VT. Very good story. 

WHAT A MAN! I loved this too. Michael spoke to everyone's hearts and his son is engaged to a man. Michael took a very personal perspective of feeling like the heavens were closed to him for a good 10 years then siting in church one day the heaven's opened and in 10 days he wrote 12 songs or something like that. WOW! God loves us. 

After all we could think is, everyone has their own path and fight for that path. 

Some paths I must say seem harder then others but it is all in the perspective. 

We met some guys who are active LDS and don't have partners and who have 3 callings. We met some who have a partner and do go to church but don't take the sacrament. We met some who hate the church. I pray for them because I really love the church and I would love so many talents in my ward. I loved mostly everyone. We met all sorts of handsome guys and so many supportive allys.

What I also liked was no contention. 

Dance Party

Sunday was good too. I didn't take any pictures but it was SO good. 

Me and my supportive husband. Love him. I think the weekend taught me about my relationship I want with him. 

Love is around us. 

So I walked away with so much thought, more open perspective. I wanted to marry everyone but I told everyone I have a husband already.